Some times it is just too good to know there are good people around!
I have often feared idealistic people. They make me feel insufficient, uncomfortable and in summary, miserable. It is because, they make me realize where I need to improve, how I have been too lazy to get off my butt and put in the effort and see how far I can go. I have always taken shortcuts..I have always leaned on supports, always forgiven myself with fake reasons. I have never kept my words, never resolved my resolutions, never ever been happy with my results. It is ridiculous to even say "I" and "Idealism" in the same sentence unless it has "am-not-remotely-associated-to" in the middle.
But once in a while, when I am not full of myself, I get a rare vision of perfection for its own sake distanced from my banal comparisons. I see people around me, intelligent, talented, saintly in their existences, some what, yogis in their karmas.
They exceed their own limitations by the simple rule of giving-everything-they-possess-for-the -cause. They lose their boundaries from their skills. They lose them selves in their pursuits. Greed, vanity, conceit, have vaporized in melting out this pure gold. Whatever was superficial and carnal in their existence has burnt in the friction of them accelerating towards excellence.
To watch them do the things they do, is a pleasure so pure, that it is hard to be selfish, to compete, or compare, or even recognize your trivial existence in the presence of such perfection. I am glad that at least once in my self-obsessed while, I get to see a vision so sacred. Thank god for them. Above all, thank them.
posted by nphard @ 3:28 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
probably those idealistic people who make me feel a little lesser, a little lazy, are good but not good enough. They are still reachable. and therefore it makes it difficult to distance the "I" from them.
Once some how the mind and heart synchronize and accept that you cannot be "perfectly good or bad like them",its peaceful existence either ways.
Needless to say, I have been waiting for you to write :)
I don't think they are reachable.. I assure you I can never touch a complete stranger's heart like a good poet. I can never show my vision through colors like a painter. They *know* what they are doing.. most of the time I am just imitating someone who knows what they are doing.
It is probably some barely breathing hope in my mind, that I am not completely dead..There is still a chance for improvement. Or it could be, that I don't want to admit to myself that I am ridiculously useless.. so I keep telling myself, I am not like them because I don't work harder :D.. That way, I get to be a superior self without actually doing it!
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