To Compromise or To compromise.
In all other fronts one can fight, strive, demand and get what one wants. Not love. Let me qualify that. Not love the way one wants to be loved.
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. There is a problem with that. "They" are "they".."they" are not you. They will only do what they perceive is a gesture of love. If you do not try to alter "them", your deed/love, when it comes back to you, may be camouflaged in an unrecognizable/unpalatable form. If you force them to change to your liking, then, you would be puppeteering a show of love towards yourself. Now that is pathetic, ridiculous, not to mention terribly lonely!
The alternative is to change yourself. To accept what you get as love. With a faith that what you give to others has to come back to you, even though you may not see it. It is a tough task to keep doing something without seeing any gratifying feedback. You are struggling to get something that you know you will not get because the giver does not know what you want. That one-sided single-minded giving of love is also lonely.
Either way, trying to snatch something you want out of a place where it does not exist is futile.
You may want to be the center of their world; their world may be donut-shaped!
posted by nphard @ 10:36 PM
2 Comments
2 Comments:
I stumbled upon your blog through a Google search for the meaning of 'Ab ke hum bichde' and continued reading several of your posts in fascination. You write well! Or perhaps, you merely write about the things that I want to express but don't know how.. so when I read your posts, I mentally go, "Exactly, exactly!" So I thought I'd leave you a note to tell you how much I enjoy your writing :) I'll come a-visiting again, hoping to find more food for the soul.
This particular post seems to be a substantial elaboration on "Just because people don't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean that they love you. Or vice-versa." And the ending, "..their world may be donut-shaped!" goes straight through my heart, since I am going through a similar experience.
Indian philosophy (I'm referring to KarmaYoga by Swami Vivekananda here) advocates that it would be best to have no expectations at all. But that is easier said than done, right?
Sagar
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PS: May I repost/link your translation of Ab ke hum bichde" on my own blog? I promise full citation/attribution!
Hello!
Thank you indeed for your flattering comments :-). I actually wanted to refer to Karma-yoga-like-conundrum when I wrote the part about not expecting anything in return to love. I guess the difficulty in its implementation is what necessitated a whole chapter by Krishna :-)
Please feel free to post my translation.. (I will feel secretly proud to be even remotely associated with the Ghazal anywhere :D)
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