Piligrimage

We went to Manthralaya. People are taking baths in the muddy flood water .. and extremely tiring ordeals of prayer and worship. I bent my head down..and wanted to pray.. all that I could think of are my deepest wishes. Let my family be peaceful and happy. Let my father get back good health. Let my sisters be happy.. Let me learn well what I want to pursue etc etc.. Is prayer always just a re-iteration of what I want badly?

It felt funny.. I told amma about it.. I told her " I dont feel any bhakti"..she said.."you do what you have to do..some times mechanical acts start making deeper sense after a while"

I guess I will wait along..

Or perhaps, now , I am at such a stage, I cant face "god" eye to eye and say .. I have been good .. now return the favor please !!